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The Tao of Jax – Misty

I’ll never forget that sight! Fresh blood flowing from her mouth and from her under her tail. The last time I saw her, even though she had visibly slowed down, Dusty was still so full of life. “DAMN!” I thought, “she seems so empty – so hollow!”

I got the call just after I finished a long day of work. My dad was clearly weeping on the other end of the phone as he told me, “Misty died today. She’s still laying in my bathroom!” I knew my Dad shouldn’t attempt to deal with this on his own. I called my sister, told her I was coming to get her and we were going over to Dad’s place to deal with the “clean up” for him.

When we arrived I had Cathy take my Dad into his room and comfort him so that he wouldn’t have to watch me remove the body of his 14 year old sheltie who was more than just a dog. All dog owners out there know this:

A dog is a member of the family!

I don’t know if it was naivety, or just plain ignorance but I didn’t think it was going to be a big deal for me. I was more worried about helping my dad and never really thought about what I was about to walk in to. I swung open the door to the bathroom with a blanket in hand, took one look at the corpse laying in the middle of the room and instantly broke into tears.

I have picked up dead stray cats, foxes and gophers and felt the motionless emptiness of a dead animal. The dead weight that offers no challenge other than the force gravity impresses upon your hands but, to feel the lifelessness of one that you held so dear is an emotional and overwhelming feeling.

I wiped away the tears as I made 3 different attempts to wrap her body with the blanket, which resulted in me carrying her remains to my car which I then drove to the 24 hour animal care center for disposal.

I’ll never forget that night. I have watched as other animals peacefully drift away while being euthanized and it was a sad experience but, to have to remove that dead, furry mass was an entirely different experience.

I was at the dog park recently with my 2 year old boxer, Jax and I thought about Misty and the night she passed on. I thought about how she still had a brain, a heart and blood flowing through her veins. Up until that last moment, that last breath she was, in many ways, no different than Jax is right now while I watch him run and play.

What is that “spark” that offers animated life? The “spark” that decided to leave Misty that night?

Hmmmm….

I spent some time watching Jax filled with that “spark,”  running, jumping and playing…  then I turned inwards and started asking the same question…

What is that “spark” that offers me life?

Thanks to Jax, with a big help from Misty I am on the path to some more of life’s big lessons. Of course, this leads to so many other questions… isn’t it exciting?!?!