Posts Tagged ‘Beer Bottle’

Blue Collar Begone Presents: Conversations with a Half Empty Beer Bottle


2010
01.31
Newspaper vendor, Paddington, London, February...
Image via Wikipedia

Blue Collar Begone Presents: Conversations with a Half Empty Beer Bottle

PSST, Just do it!

“Hehehe, ok!”  Yup, they’re at it again. Steve and his trusty side kick, tonight being, Mr. Kokanee!

I find myself approaching 2 young ladies, who were both quite attractive. I have a newspaper in hand and a cool draft finding its way into my pants.

“Ladies,” I announce as I get closer to gain their attention, “have you seen these headlines?” I dramatically swing open the newspaper and spin around as if to let them read the headlines over my right shoulder.

The evil grin presents itself across Steve’s face once the screaming and uncontrollable laughter explodes into the warm summer night.

As I spun around to allow the lovely ladies to read the headlines, the 2 liter pop (soda for our American friends) bottle which I had so strategically placed between my right and left cheek – Yes – those cheeks, struck the two ladies firmly in the thigh.

These two women were victims 1 and 2 of approximately 23 that evening. If you are having a hard time picturing this incredible weapon of mass destruction – Fear not! Videos to come!

Your Friend in Fun!

-Steve

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Blue Collar Begone Presents: Conversations with a Half Empty Beer Bottle


2010
01.27
Shiner Bock, Shiner Light, Shiner Blonde, Shin...
Image via Wikipedia

Blue Collar Begone Presents: Conversations with a Half Empty Beer Bottle

PSSST…. Just do it!

Who is Scott Weller? Why do I care and what can I learn from him and really… what’s so special about him? You might be thinking that I’m starting with these questions for your benefit, and maybe I am but it’s more for me. I have asked myself these questions time and time again only to run from them each and every time they were asked.

It wasn’t until just recently that I realized that it’s the WHOLE story which makes you who you are. That includes the good stories and the bad…. And even the horrible!

After spending some time reminiscing, I realized I’m like rapper, Eminem – I have another, more negative and incorrigible personality (my slim shady). Over the years, this alternate persona has coaxed me into doing unbelievable things and led me into ridiculous situations. I like to call this persona “Steve”.

Steve’s regular appearances were usually initiated by his very best friend – BEER! Beer was Steve’s best friend and worst enemy. “PSST…. Just do it,” is usually how each evening was started. With the cracking of the first beer (PSST – being the sound of a beer opening) followed by a mischievous, “Just do it” which usually led to actions that required some sort of physical, emotional or monetary debt to be paid at a later date.

The stories to follow are the unbelievable, yet true adventures of Steve and his running partner – drunkenness! Welcome to, “Conversations with a Half Empty Beer Bottle”

Your friend in FUN,

-Steve

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