Infamous boxing champion, Joe Lewis was set to defend his title on June 28, 1939 against Tony Galento. Galento was not expected to be much of a challenge for the champ but in the 3rd round, Galento knocked Lewis to the canvas. Lewis sprung back up to his feet and immediately went after the challenger.
At the end of the round, Lewis went to his corner and was met by his trainer who shouted at him:
“You know you’re supposed to take a full 9 count when you’re knocked down!”
Lewis replied:
“WHAT?!?! And give him a chance to rest?!?!?”
Lewis went on to destroy Galento in the fourth round to retain the title.
If you want to be a champion in life, follow Lewis’s example and don’t take the 9 count… Jump back up and keep moving forward knocking any challenges down and out of your way!
Growing up, my favorite sport was basketball. We were constantly giving each other “HIGH FIVE”. You know, as The Waterboy would say, “SLAP HANDS!” If a team mate hit a basket, as we ran back to get into defensive position we would be giving that team mate “HIGH FIVE”. If another team mate made a great defensive block or took a charge, we would give him a “HIGH FIVE”. Even if a team mate tripped over his own feet, lost the ball out of bounds and looked like a complete fool… “HIGH FIVE!”
Even now, in my adult life, I see people walking past one another giving “HIGH FIVES” and it has almost become a habitual act and, in some cases, a joke. Ever since the movie, “Borat” came out, I hear people with their awful imitation of Borat’s … um… er… Kazak… khazack… Kazakst… Eastern European accent bellowing out, “High five!!” as they pass co-workers, offering their hand up high.
All the “HIGH FIVE”-ing got me thinking, why are we giving “HIGH FIVES for absolutely everything? Doesn’t it devalue the act by unconsciously and, at this point, even instinctly congratulating a person in such a way?
So… I decided to try an experiment. I decided I would, for one week offer absolutely no “HIGH FIVES”. Let me tell you, it was a very lonely week of looking at pictures of family and my dog!
Then, the second week I would offer only “HIGH FIVES” with nothing more being said or done, not even making eye contact. The results were, well… the best way to describe it is sterile. Insincerity is usually returned with its twin brother!
Finally, the third week, I would offer “HIGH FIVES” as much as possible without being labeled as “THE HI” HIGH FIVER, and along with the “HIGH FIVE” I would offer a simple compliment. Nothing fake or seemingly insincere. Just a simple, “You Rock!” “Looking Good!” “Good Work!” Whatever fit in the situation and I made sure it was very intentional and personal to that person. The results were impossible to debate.
Within the first 2 days, I had people shouting, from across the worksite, “Good morning, Scott!” “You rock Scott!” My office was getting regular visits from not only my co workers to discuss both personal and work related issues but also other contractor’s workers were coming to see me as well. This response was not because I could solve their problems any easier than any other supervisor on site but because I seemed more approachable and personable. I created rapport and gained their respect as someone positive and a pleasure to be around.
I would recommend the “HEART FELT HIGH FIVE” as a regular exercise in your daily routine, no matter what arena you work in. It is a simple activity that takes no extra time in your day and can make all the difference in the world for building and nurturing work and personal relationships.
So, next time you’re passing that co-worker who you think has been saying things behind your back to sandbag you for that promotion, “YOU ROCK!” and offer your right hand up high! When you get to class and that lab partner who never showed so you stayed up until 2 am to finish up everything on your own, “NO WORRIES! I GOT IT!” and throw up both hands and bring it around! When your spouse and you were up all night arguing, roll over in the morning, turn off the alarm, put your hand on theirs and whisper, “Thank you for being the very best team mate I could ask for! HIGH FIVE!”
Strong eye contact can be the difference cementing that big contract and, in some uncomfortable situations, someone else questioning your sexuality. Eye contact can be a simple and easy way to build rapport and create a genuine feeling of interest in another person during a conversation. Here are some simple tips to ensure that your eye contact stays comfortable and inviting and does not turn into creepy!
A recent study asked subjects to have a casual 2 minute conversation. They asked half of the subjects to keep string eye contact with the person they we having the conversation with by counting the number of times the other person blinked.
Upon completion of the experiment “the blinkers” reported significantly higher feelings of respect and fondness for their counterparts who were merely counting their blinking.
Maintaining intense eye contact gives the impression of being an intelligent and abstract thinker. Abstract thinkers are able to integrate incoming data more easily than concrete thinkers. Abstract thinkers can then respond more easily to incoming data while forming responses at the same time.
Yale researchers created a study on the thought that more eye contact creates stronger feelings. They had the subjects share personal stories and keep a sliding scale of eye contact. As the eye contact was held longer and deeper the feelings of intimacy and respect grew when it was a female vs. female or female vs. male but, when it was male vs. male the feelings were uncomfortable and negative and some mistook the eye contact as a form of flirting.
So, if you’re sitting across the table from a potential client make sure to follow the rules here:
Girl Vs. Girl – Gaze Away
Man Vs. Girl – Hold that Gaze
Man Vs. Man – Do not hold the Gaze or you may be mistaken as ….
I grew up in a pretty decent situation, now that I look around and see what some people were exposed to. I do have some demons in my past which, more and more, as time passes by, affect me less and less.
As a middle child, I grew up flying under the radar, getting away with more than maybe I should have. I feel bad now looking back because I really took full advantage of this. I had house parties and invited people (notice I did not say friends, who came never mattered to me as long as it was fun) to come over, drink and have the time of their lives on the weekends my Mother was out of town on business. I was a completely disrespecting, adolescent with absolutely no regard for anyone or anything that should have meant something to me at that time in my life. All I cared about was being fun. Being the funny guy. Being the guy that everyone said was a blast and that they loved hanging around me. I know now, how sad that time in my life really was.
This lifestyle followed me through to my mid twenties where I did some crazy things, and I may even qualify them as down right stupid. I’m not going to get into details but feel free to ask my little sister. She saw how out of control and ridiculous I really was.
Through those years there are thoughts that really stand out in my mind. “Man, does life get any better than this?” “I’m the funniest guy alive!” “Wow, is she ever hot! I bet she wants me!” All of which were conceived in the same moment as I was wiping away the vomit remaining on my chin after ducking under a table to remain unseen by the bouncers. I’m pretty sure that the girls I was referring to, were just staring in absolute disgust after I aided them in realizing what a half digested, 3 meat pizza pop mixed with Kokanee looks like when it is “sent back to where it came from!”
Throughout all the partying and drinking and attempted fraternizing, (yes…. attempted) I would also have, what I now believe, to be the beginning of my current consciousness. When I say consciousness, I don’t mean to hint at the idea that I am “enlightened”. Far from it! Although I am working towards it.
I remember vividly, on many occasions having this one thought. This one thought is now the basis I live my life on. This one thought rolls me out of bed at 4am when I couldn’t sleep until midnite. This one thought tells me, “yes you can,” when everyone else screams, “NO YOU CAN’T!” This one thought has taken me from the pathetic mess I was and has created amazing opportunity for me, in every single day I live.
This one thought was, “I know I am here for a reason, an important reason…. but…. What is it?”
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